Memories contribute a great deal in shaping up a personality by knitting and preserving the web of thoughts in our mind in an unconscious manner. Good, exciting and pleasant memories cast a positive reflection and we tend to relive those cherishable moments sometimes just in thoughts and at other times by celebrating or reenacting. Sad and painful memories become a burden which we wish to shed away and to forget forever. However unpleasant incidents of life are likely to stay with us for a longer period of time and keep coming back to us. As Adele sung and I quote, “Regrets and mistakes are memories made.”
Parents and peers play the leading role in making memories. Events from the childhood till adolescent particularly develop impressions of unforgettable experiences which form long-lasting recollections. Such memories draw the drapery of our character, individuality and wisdom. So, its highly prospective that an enriching, happy, cultured and carefully curated brought up will engrave a gleeful retention in the brain bank emitting a constructive echo on the soul. This is the reason many of us recall and rejoice the summer holidays spent with grandparents and cousins, visits to ancestral village, afternoons spent in playing with siblings while parents were asleep, teachers who were polite and kind, games and pranks we used to play, etc. Because to many of us, these were immensely happy and care free times of fun and frolic.
We excitedly share and narrate these blissful remembrances with our kids and tell them how those times were better, bright and beautiful. But, do we intentionally try to craft such unforgettably exhilarating and jovial times and activities for our children which may stay with them as the radiant recall? Yes, indeed, we plan the best possible educational path, recreational and fun activities and a resourceful life with future security and viability. However, do we really focus on the real reaps and ramifications of this planning on the quality of exposure and accounts of life which the child is exploring and accumulating? This experience, in units and pieces, will be stored and available in the brain to process and channelize thoughts and perceptions accordingly in the times to come. Surrounding environment including people, places, happenings and things define a kid’s learning and memorizing capability. Gratifying and entertaining events increase enthusiasm and stimulates mental activity which enable a child retaining it for a longer span of time.
I am afraid that the memories of the kids of this time will revolve around the imprints of digital gadgets, the immersiveness of the society including us as parents in arduous and self-consuming race and routine to gain riches and recognition and the over-indulgence of parents in the quest to raise a perfect, socially admired and professionally accomplished child.
Presently, kids around us remain engrossed in youtube channels and video games which are mostly violence oriented, addictive and with lavish use of nasty and inappropriate language. Apart from other unhealthy and damaging effects on a child’s personality, being glued to screens make them physically sluggish and mentally agitated. Being unbridled or erroneously pampered, these kids are becoming couch potatoes. Spending hours and hours, sitting or sprawling at one position is making this Gen -Z lazy and work shirker. Keeping them indoors, these digital parasites are making them dull by restricting their physical movement as well as ostracizing from their age fellows and peers due to limited social interaction. For some, it’s also causing obesity which is another health evil. The thrill and pace of these games and videos are bringing about unwanted psychological effects and habits. Kids are getting more agitated, impatient, belligerent and crankier.
Because of the fast paced professional and social lifestyle, parents do not get to spend much quality time with the kids. This is one of the major reasons that digital gadgets have replaced the bedtime story sessions and many such bond strengthening and constructive activities of kids with their parents. Now it is far more convenient to pacify the child by hooking them to these devices than engaging them in solving riddles, watering plants, conducting chores together or just having chit chat. These are by far intoxicating digital drugs for body and brain collecting and storing surreal thought and memories.
Endless race to amass worldly gains demands costly sacrifices of taking away family time, health deterioration and mental exhaustion. Considering wealth, a means to acquire happiness, we not only spoil our present but also compromise positive thought process of kids. Their observations ultimately become memories to be layered in their tender minds and be recalled as the days when parents were busy buying comfort. Years down the line, they might be inclined to repeat the same with their kids.
At the same time, over parenting also becomes a crippling factor for the young brains when they are not allowed or given space to think, explore and decide on their own. Constant guidance and over protectiveness breads confusion, lack of decision making and fear. It is ok to fall and fail in achieving initial milestones of life as this learning curve is significant to hone courage and confidence. Mind will memorize the struggles and triumph will then be more precious and motivating.
Our kids deserve better memories filled with their parents’ delightful presence and pride of being an independent and empowered child who overcame the fear of failure along with the peace of simplicity and contentment. It is our duty to enable them to make most out of it and to knit moments worth recalling and reliving.
The writer can be reached at sunniyakhn@gmail.com
