I have learned plenty of things from my past experiences. The step I have taken is the step towards self-discovery. In these golden years of my life, I realized that without discovering myself, I cannot even step out of my house. The journey towards discovering my natural self is the most beautiful journey I have ever experienced.
A major role was played by the failures I faced in past years. I must say that these failures groomed me, and believe me there is no happiness without hardships. Remember one thing that hardships always come to groom you. I would like to address my audience that if you get any hardship and problem in life, you get life as a world you never expected; never be scared or disappointed, I repeat never ever. The hardships and problems you are facing is the price you have to pay for achieving that goal. Remember nothing is free in this world, you have to pay the price and exactly this is what you are doing. Condition applied i.e.; you have to do your best.
During the time of hardship, I was blessed with such milestones that allow me to grow. The milestones I am talking about are none other than my beloved parents, my partner, and my mentor (my mamo: Lt Gen Mazhar Jamil). My parents supported me, asked me to think again about myself and helped me to discover the natural self of mine. My mentor (my mamo) taught me the excellent moral values and the vision of life. He reminded me the excellence approach and taught me that every failure is the step towards success, as you have no access to control your future so why to worry about that. Just do your best and Allah will do the rest.
If I talk about the journey, the destination and travel does not matter, what matters is the company. It would not be wrong if I give the other half credit to my company; yes, I am talking about my partner. This was the turning point of my life when I get that company and it resulted in my self-discovery and leadership. We founded our institution, i.e., RAFMAN Institute of Humanism. I will try my best to explain my vision of leadership on basis of my experience.
There is a very big question mark from many decades on discovering our natural selves. I always relate discovery with leadership as it plays a vital role in every second and aspect of life. To be a good leader we must be a very good human and it is only possible when we discover and lead ourselves. We must be the best version of ourselves. We have many theories and debates of many philosophers on different forums, but everyone has a mutual statement, that discovering yourself is the key to success in life.
I have discovered so many things till now and still discovering, whether it is music, poetry, teaching, counselling, clinical psychology or cooking. These activities are the essentials of my life. Teaching, music, psychology, and poetry have become my life’s work; however, I truly believe my words will help you regardless of what profession you belong to. I still remember the day when I discovered that Allah Al-mighty sent me in this world to be a psychologist. The most important thing in self-discovery and development is to understand God will.
First step towards discovery is the reading, interpreting, analyzing, and implementing The Holy Quran. Allah Al-mighty revealed this book for us so that we would be able to have a very good self-awareness. Allah started The Holy Quran with the introduction of Himself, then the mankind. Allah said that it is obligatory to say Alhamdulillah at every moment of life. The very first message and self-knowledge that we get from Quran is that is our moral value and duty is to be optimistic every time by saying Alhamdulillah. Then Allah introduced the term of Master and slave. Allah said I am the Master, and you are the slave. Allah said that there is no master who love his slaves but I being the Master loves you a lot and remember, the love of 70 mothers is not the limit. Another lesson for self-discovery from Quran is that we don’t have any access to handle our future and outcome as this is the domain of Allah Al-Mighty. What we should do is giving our best and God will do rest.
It is significant to understand the God will. I always say that understanding God will is the master key that will unlock all your problems. Once you understand the God will you will surely be on right path. Now a very big question arises that how to know the God will. I must say that before getting the answer to this question, you have to develop you mind that you will accept God will. If we open The Holly Quran, we will find in very first chapter “??????? ???????? ??????????????” [Guide us the right path. (1:6)]. Being a Muslim, we always recite this with every Namaz in a day. What we are doing? We are asking Allah to guide us, what to do and where to go. When we truly believe this and have faith then we will surely find the ways to success.Believe me understanding God will is the real maturity.
The problem of anxieties and depressions arise when we worry about things that are not in our hand. I believe in excellence approach that I have discovered from myself. Excellence approach means that whatsoever you are doing is for the sake of improvement and leaning which will ultimately nourish your personality. Excellence is directly proportional to learning ability. If we stop learning, we will die before death. The illiterate person of 21st century is not the one who cannot read or write, he or she is the one who cannot learn. Go for excellence and success will be yours.
Here are the 20 keys of discovery that inspired me the most in my whole life of 22 years: Acknowledging Fear, Overcoming Fears, Finding Inspiration, Staying Inspired, Developing a Winning Attitude, Establishing Written Goals, Taking Action, Building a Winning System, Visualization, Overcoming Setbacks, Dress Hygiene, Adjusting To Change , Finding The Right Vehicle, Mentorship, Persistence and Determination, Passion, The Value of People, Taking Responsibilities, Understanding Why Things Happen, Failure Doesn’t Exist
I have personally applied these keys in my life.
We must identify and admit our fears and weaknesses, as humans are not perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist in this world and if we search perfection, we will end up disappointed. Humans have n number of fears summed up as: fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of loss, and fear of change. No matter what type of fear is it, but it will surely paralyze you in your life. If I say fear is the greatest single thing that holds us back in life, it would 100% correct. Fear can be overcome, but in reality, it is not that easy. We must admit and overcome to discover ourselves.
Always Remember what happens in morning will influence your whole day. When I wake up in morning, the only thing that I need is to be encouraged; everything else will look out of itself. The machine that propels all innovation, production, and success in the world is passion and inspiration. Finding inspiration is first step to enduring success. Sustaining that inspiration throughout our lives is of paramount importance to success. Inspiration can change good companies into superior companies; inspiration can change lives and even world.
It is the attitude which determines the background and personality of an individual. You must develop a winning attitude. Avoid negative thoughts and spread positivity. Attitude is a fickle emotion. One moment your attitude can be high as a kite and next it can drop like a stone.
There should be a proper vision of life. There are some important aspects which I would like to highlight i.e., dress and hygiene, persistence, determination, and hard-working in right direction. I always give a huge importance to dressing sense as it a sign of a mature personality to dress according personality and likewise. In 21st century we need to be smart worker which means working in right direction. It will surely increase our efficiency. I have found that there are several things that you can do to help keep positive visualization apart of your life. Understand the age old saying that good things come to those who wait. Understand the first point then it will be easier for you to continue to see yourself where you want to be in life even when you are not there yet. Let your dreams become emotional. Oh my God! when I think about what I want to achieve I can literally get myself to a point of excitement bringing myself to tears of joy in the process. I have always experienced this.
Being responsible is the key to success and efficiency. Responsibility includes many factors in fact every aspect. We must be responsible whether it is personal, professional, or social responsibility. If we have to be responsible, we must boycott corruption of every type whether monetary or non-monetary. We must understand that things will happen, and we have no control on happening. We only have control on reaction and remember, life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react.
“A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decision causes your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life, and ultimate success depends on the choice you make.”
If we follow this, we will be able to have self-expertise and we will lead ourselves. Being a good human means having a very good self-knowledge which will make us the better version of ourselves and allow us to serve humanity and Pakistan.
Long Live Pakistan!
Student of BS Clinical Psychology at University of Management & Technology
